Seuss Saturday: The Snorlax

By the time I have published this, it'll probably be almost Sunday.  I wrote this article because in some ecosystems, such as the ecosystems that attract Canada Geese, the species overpopulated and destroyed them that way.  I actually don't think humans count as overpopulated in most countries, but in more small and secluded ecosystems, many animals have.  Check out this article for more details.

At the far end of town,
Where the Snivy-Grass grows,
And the wind smells like Muk when it blows,
And no birds ever sing, except for old Fearows...
Is the street of the snoozing Snorlax.

And deep in the Snivy-Grass, some people say,
If you look deep enough you can still see, today,
Where the Snorlax once stood
For as long as it could
Until somebody lifted the Snorlax away.

What was the Snorlax?
And why was it there?
And why was it lifted and taken somewhere
From the far end of town where the Snivy-Grass grows?
The old Ash-ler still lives there.
Ask him.  He knows.

You won't see the Ash-ler,
Don't knock at his door.
He stays in his ball cap, cold under the roof,
Where he makes his own clothes
Out of miff-muffered moof.
And on special dank midnights in August,
he peeks
Out of the shutters
And sometimes he speaks,
And tells how the Snorlax was lifted away.

He'll tell you, perhaps...
If you're willing to pay.

On the end of the rope,
He drops a pail for cargo,
And you have to toss in fifteen Pokémon Dollars
A sargo,
And the shell of a great-great-great-
old Magargo.

He pulls up the pail
Makes a most careful count
To see if you paid him
The proper amount

Then he hides what you paid him,
Away in his Pokéball,
His secret strange thing,
A red and white ball.

Then he grunts, "I will call you by my old Poképhone,
For the secrets I tell are for your ears alone."

Slupp!
Down slupps the Poképhone
And the old Ash-ler's whispers are not very clear,
since they have to come down
through a snergley hose
And he sounds
As if he had
Small Combees up his nose.

"Now I'll tell you", he says, with his teeth sounding grey,
"How the Snorlax got lifted and taken away."

It all started way back,
Such a long time back...

Way back in the days when the pond was still green,
And the pond was still wet
And the clouds were still clean
And the sound of the Swanna rang out in space
One morning, I come to this glorious place.
And I first saw the trees!
The Ditto trees!
The bright-colored blobs on the Ditto trees!
Mile after mile in the fresh morning breeze.

And, under the trees, I saw brown Bewears,
Frisking about in their brief underwears!
As they played in the shade and ate Ditto Tree pears!

From the rippulous pond,
Came the comfortable sound,
Of the Magicarps humming
While splashing aroun
But the Dittos! Those Dittos!
The Dittos on the trees!
All my life I've been searching,
For Dittos such as these.
The touch of their bodies
Was softer than silk
And they had the sweet smell,
Of fresh buttery milk.

I felt a great leaping
of joy in my heart!
I knew what to do,
I unloaded my cart.

In no time at all, I built a small shop,
Then I grabbed a Gardevoir and on a Ditto did she drop!
And with great skillful skill and with great speedy speed,
The Ditto and Gardevoir had started to breed!

The instant they finished, we heard a ba-thump!
I looked.
I saw something fall down on a stump,
Of an old ancient tree.  It was sort of a bear.
Describe him? That's hard.  I'm not sure if I care.

He was tallish.  And fatish
And greenish.  And creepy
And he spoke with a voice,
That was deepish and sleepy.

"Mister!" he said with a long mournful yawn,
"I am the Snorlax, get off of my lawn!
I sleep for the Z's, for the Z's won't catch themselves,
And I'm asking you sir, from the depth of my pelves."
He was very upset as he bristled in his brawn,
"What's that thing you have done, this Gardevoir spawn?"

"Look, Snorlax" I said.  "There's no cause for alarm.
I just bred one Ditto.  I am doing no harm.
I'm being quite useful.  This thing is a Gardevoir!
A Gardevoir is something with a massive repertoire!
She's a fighter! She's a pet! She's a friend!
But she has other uses.  We're not near the end!
You can use them for gardening, for housekeeping, for saving lives!
Or pest control! Or wives!

The Snorlax said
"Sir! You're crazier than a soup reservoir,
There is no one on Earth,
Who would buy that fool Gardevoir."

But the very next minute, I proved he was wrong,
For, just at that minute, a chap came along.
And he thought that the Gardevoir I had bred was great.
He happily bought her for three-ninety-eight.

I laughed at the Snorlax, "You poor stupid guy!
You just never know what some people will buy!"