Grantzilla

No, that is not me! There is another Grant out there who also happens to be a Godzilla aficionado.

The Homework Monster

It's two in the morning, and you have just awoken from a nightmare; little do you know that the real nightmare has just begun.  In a matter of minutes, you hear screaming, and everyone is running from their homes.  What's more, you hear a series of loud thumps, like a giant's heart beat.  As you leave your house all groggy-eyed, you see  a squadron of jets zooming toward the source of the chaos.  They fire their missles, which results in several explosions and a cloud of smoke.  From the smoke, you catch site of two bright yellow lights flashing.  Then you see two sharp rays slashing through the airplanes, destroying them instantly.  Finally, the smoke parts, and you begin to understand the horror that had arrived at your city: it has a small, squat body, two long, skinny legs, six mechanical, pinchered arms, and a huge, swollen head.  The beast's name is Shukra, the Homework Monster.  You wake up screaming, you catch sight of your clock; it is at five in the morning and you realize that today you have a test in geology!

In case you are wondering, Shukra makes an appearance in Godzilla vs. Gigan. Too bad the test is not on Godzilla trivia... 

Suess Saturday - Gandalf in the Hat

The Wizard in the Hat

The sun did not shine.

It was too wet to play.

So they sat in the house,

All that cold, cold, wet day.

Frodo sat there with Sam.

They sat there, them two.

And Sam said, “How I wish

We had something to do!”

Too wet to go out

And too cold to kill orcs.

So they sat in the house.

Like a couple of dorks.

So all they could do was to

Sit!

Sit!

Sit!

Sit!

And they did not like it.

Not one little bit.

And then

Something went BUMP!

How that bump made them jump!

They looked!

Then they saw him step in on the mat!

They looked!

And they saw him!

Gandalf in the Hat!

And he said to them,

“Why do you sit there like that?”

I know it is wet

And the sun is not sunny.

But we can have

Lots of good fun that is funny.”

“I know adventure we could have,”

Said Gandalf.

“I know some magics,”

Said Gandalf in the Hat.

“A lot of good tricks.

I will show them to you.

And Bilbo

Will not mind at all if I do.”

The Frodo and Sam

Did not know what to say.

For Bilbo was out of the house for the day.

But Gollum said, “No! No!

Make that thing go away!

Tell that nasty creature

You do NOT want to play.

He should not be here.

He should not be about.

He should not be here

When the Baggins is out!”

“Now! Now! Have no fear.

Have no fear!” said Gandalf

“My tricks are not bad,”

Said Gandalf in the Hat.

“Why, we can have lots of good fun like a chimp

With a game I call

UP-UP-UP with the imp!”

“Put us down!” said Gollum.

“This is no fun at all!

Put us down!” Said Gollum.

We do NOT wish fall!”

“Have no fear!” said Gandalf.

“I will not let you fall.

I will hold you up high

As I stand on a ball.

With my staff in one hand!

And a cup on my hat!

But that is not all I can do!”

Said Gandalf…

“Look at me!

Look as me now!” Said Gandalf.

“With bow and a dwarf

On top of my hat!

I can hold up TWO staffs!

I can hold up the imp!

And a little sharp sword!

And some beer in a dish!

And look!

I can hop up and down on the ball!

But that is not all!

Oh, no.

That is not all…

“Look at me!

Look at me NOW!

It is fun to have fun

But you have to know how.

I can hold up the rum!

And the beer and the dwarf!

I can hold up these staffs!

And Imp on an animorph!

I can hold the sharp little sword!

And a little blond Elf!

And look! With my foot

I can hold a geek fan!

I can fan with the fan

As I hop on the ball!

But that is not all.

Oh, no.

That is not all…”

That is what Gandalf said…

Then he fell on his head!

He came down with a bump

From there up on the ball.

And Frodo and Sam,

They saw ALL the things fall!

And Gollum came down too,

He fell into a pot!

He said, “Do we like this?

Oh, no! We do not.

This is not a good game,”

Said Gollum as he lit.

“No we do not like it,

Not one little bit!”

“Now look what you did!”

Said Gollum to Gandalf.

Now look at this house!

Look at stairs! Look at shelf!

You sank our sharp sword,

Sank it deep in the dwarf.

You shook up our house

And you bent animorph!

You SHOULD NOT be here

When Baggins is not.

You get out of this house!”

Said Gollum in the Pot.

“But I like to be here.

Oh, I like it a lot!”

Said Gandalf in the Hat

To Gollum in the pot.

“I will NOT go away.

I do NOT wish to go!

And so,” said Gandalf in the Hat,

“So

So

So…

I will show you

Another good game that I know!”

And then he ran out.

And, then, as fast as a fox,

Gandalf in the Hat

Came back in with a box.

A big red wood box.

It was shut with a hook.

“Now look at this trick,”

Said Gandalf.

“Take a look!”

To be continued next Suess Saturday...

My Netflix Queue

Corner Gas: This is the funniest show I've ever watched! Seriously! I will admit that it is mostly about nothing, but it is very entertaining nothing. You can't get any funnier than episode eight of season four when Hank has an epiphany and believes that he has been called to be a rodeo clown super hero!

Hamish Macbeth: A UK television show about a Scottish Policeman. He is somewhat lazy and has a tendency to kick the headlights on his rivals' cars. It is sometimes difficult to decide which side of the law he is on when he aides the locals to fool nosy inspectors. But somehow he solves the cases, despite the fact he spends most of his time fishing.

Robin Hood: Probably one of the best retellings of the legend of Robin Hood. This Robin Hood isn't too much of a pansy nor is he overly gruff. While it based on the traditional Robin Hood legends, the plot lines have a modern relevancy.

Eureka: One of the strangest shows I've ever watched. It's about a U.S. Marshal who has the misfortune to accidentally stumble upon a town in which a big government facility that produces the latest technology resides. His supervisor orders him to become the town's sheriff, where he gets to solve cases involving alleged alien abductions, scientists spontaneously combusting, and time warps.

Monarch of the Glen: Yet another quirky foreign TV show. This one is about a reluctant laird who struggles to save his family's estate. The characters are engaging, the scenery is intoxicating, and the music makes you want to dance over cross swords.

Ballykissangel: A British priest moves to rural Ireland and has trouble fitting in. He is dragged into all of the local problems. Alcohol is a factor!

My Cats

My mother said that she brought our cat Hobbes home from the shelter because he was so crazy nobody else would take him. My dad said that was the worst reason for adopting a cat that he had ever heard of. To lessen our disappointment with the "homicidal, phycho jungle cat" she brought home Calvin, so that we could enjoy a "normal" cat.

Hobbes is a huge cat with long black fur and wild yellow eyes. He got his name because he loves to pounce on our other cat, Calvin. Despite his insanity he has strong predatory and survival instincts. He will stalk anything that moves. Occasionally he succeeds in catching a bird or a rabbit, but my sister intervenes and saves the animal. This has not caused Hobbes to stop hunting, he has just moved his hunting grounds to the other side of the fence where my sister can not see him. He is highly intelligent and will open screen doors to let himself in the house. In spite of his predatory instincts and intelligence, he has a number of irrational fears, such as fear of balloons, large boots, step ladders, leashes, and new people. But he is very cuddly with the few people he trusts!


Calvin, is so named because he's such a grouch, just like the character Calvin from "Calvin and Hobbes". Calvin, is a pathetic hunter; he stares at the birds in the trees and mews pitifully. He is a brown and grey tabby with a delicate build. We call him "clastrophylic" because he loves to hide in small dark crevices away from the outside world. Calvin is the ultimate lap cat; he revels in getting attention from people. Calvin is one of the most playful cats I know. I have even taught him to play fetch. Calling him "normal" is a bit of a stretch, but he is at least a bit more sane than Hobbes.

Despsite their abnormalilties, or perhaps because of them, I have grown very fond of Calvin and Hobbes.

I'm All Rocked Out

It feels as if I have studied geology all day, and it feels as if I have learned zilch. As soon as the sun rose, I saw my geology book, and I knew I had to start studying. When I finished eating my breakfast, my geology book beckoned me to study more. I obeyed for a while. Then I fed my pets. When I was done, I once again hear my geology book calling to me and I responded by reading more. Then I did my house chores, but the book ordered me to read it again! And I did exactly what it said. But I couldn't keep track of it all; there was so much to learn about sedimentary rocks and the various facts concerning them. Things such as the sedimentary environments, sedimentary facies, their connections to plate tectonics, and a whole bunch of other stuff that I have forgotten. For some reason, I just couldn't focus well.

Don't get me wrong, I did learn some things, such as the names of the sedimentary environments. The rudimentary knowledge I gained was enough to help me pass the course's online section quizzes. But I think all that I learned was deposited in my short term memory and I will have to re-learn it! So I decided to give my brain a rest for the night and tackle it again tomorrow. I have learned one important lesson though: I should not major in geology!

Why Waste This On Us?

"...when you can put it on the internet and have the whole world ignore it?"

Blogging allows you to share all of your whacky ideas, without having to watch your family's eyes rolling. This could be a beautiful thing!
P.S. Robots would totally thrash werewolves!